"Thank you for all your wonderful informative emails. It's my cup of coffee in the morning before the day starts.
 
"I agree with you about no second chances for being stood up, but what if the guy you were supposed to see (for an errand and a quick coffee thus not really a date thing) phones and says he's going out with a friend but he'll see you tomorrow night? I have only been seeing him for about 2 weeks.
 
"To leave him might be a bit harsh because it is not a 'Stood Up', so how do I let him know that I will not stand for this & that it should never happen again? If we arrange anything, no matter how small, it should stick!"

 
Now imagine this - would you EVER make plans with a guy, and then call him right before your plans and say, "Hey, instead of keeping our plans to get coffee, I'm going to go out with a friend.  I'll see you tomorrow night."
 
I think not!!
 
What message is that guy sending? A very, very bad one - both about himself and about his feelings for the woman in question. SHE is absolutely right when she said: "If we arrange anything, no matter how small, it should stick!"
 
It certainly should. For him to cancel plans shows that he is not a man of his word. It shows that he has no respect for the fact that our girl reserved her evening for him - it doesn't matter if they were just going for coffee or if it was their honeymoon - cancelling at the last minute is classless and more!
 
What are the acceptable excuses for cancelling at the last minute? I can only think of two:  hospitalization and death - preferably his own.
 
Okay, I will admit that other kinds of emergencies can come up - like a flat tire or an INS raid or who knows what - but they need to be two things: 1. the truth and 2. rare! (not happening all the time)
 
But this guy probably just "felt like" going out with the guys - or maybe another girl - no matter who he went out with, he canceled his plans with her at the last minute.
 
What should she do???
 
You really can't usually change a man who operates like this, in my opinion. When there are so many responsible, great men out there, why would you want to stick with a man like this one - again, in my opinion, this is just an early test to see how much bull-oney you are willing to take.  He's looking for a convenient, doormat-type, "whatever you want, dear" girlfriend!
 
If I really wanted to see him again, though, here is what I would do:
 
(I'm including this because I know from experience that lots of readers would want to know this because they do want to stick with someone like this until the bitter end!)
 
The "tomorrow" when he wanted to see me would not happen for a long, long, long time.  I would not do the same thing back to him, because that would only make matters worse. Revenge is always an extremely bad idea for lots of reasons.
 
There are two choices to make if you do want to see him again:
 
Choice One: Level with him and tell him that you don't appreciate what he did, and that your time is valuable, and that you don't continue to see guys who flake out at the last minute.
 
Choice Two: Tell him this by your actions.  Act like everything is fine.  Be cheerful and happy - and very busy - too busy to find the time to see him.  It's such a shame that he had to see his friend that evening that you were supposed to get together!
 
Oh, and if you DO grant him more time with you, you COULD even say, teasingly, "Now are you sure you'll be able to make it this time?"
 
If that offends him, you just got a discount ticket away from a loser, so be thrilled.  If it doesn't, he should behave in the future - and if he ever pulls that one again....  level with him - or - please - "cut him loose."
 
Actually you'll be freeing yourself to stop wasting time on someone who has major issues with basic courtesy and maturity.
 
With love,
Mimi Tanner
Secrets of Flirting with Men